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Download 2500 Jokes to Start 'Em Laughing by Robert Orben PDF

By Robert Orben

There isn't any higher, speedier, or more beneficial technique to succeed in out and seize an audience's recognition than the adroit use of humor. An apt, well-timed comic story can soothe the adversarial, concentration the bored stiff, and the spur at the enthusiastic.

In this newest assortment from Robert Orben, grasp of the one-liner and fountain of humor for the nice television and stand-up comics, are amassed over 2500 brief, proper, and sharp laugh-getters which may simply be additional to speeches, lectures, displays, or informal dialog. prepared into numerous hundred different types for ease in choice, the subject material is topical--ranging from acupuncture and pollution to women's liberation and X-rated video clips. many of the jokes are one-liners that movement with a snap and a sizzle that anecdotes and long tales lack.

Here you can find openings and closings for speeches, plus random and particular remark useful to someone who has ever been referred to as upon to "say a number of words." a wonderful software for audio system, writers, and performers, Mr. Orben's most up-to-date booklet also will offer hours of laugh-filled interpreting for everyone.

Note from the uploader: those jokes aren't humorous.

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Extra info for 2500 Jokes to Start 'Em Laughing

Sample text

Okay. Got it. ” Meanwhile the finance director of Imperial Tobacco and his team are starting to walk into the conference room. “That makes sense. ” And then I hang up, quickly turn my phone off, and wipe my sweaty hand on my suit pants just in time to shake hands with the client. The meeting goes great. My boss lets me do a considerable amount of talking. The client basically tells us that we are in the deal with two other to-be-determined banks. I get a “nicely done” from my boss as we’re heading back to the train station.

One night, a kid who lives across the hall from me leaves his room to go take a shower; he’s one of these dopes who showers at night right before lightsout in order to save time in the morning. Shower pranks are fairly standard. Someone will steal their towel, or lock them out of their own room, or both. That’s boring. It’s happened to this kid so many times that he practically showers with one hand on his towel. m. the next morning, I go into his room, take his calculus textbook and binder full of notes, stuff them into his closet, and then lock the closet door by looping his Kryptonite 30 bicycle lock through the door handles and leaving the key inside.

I can’t tell her that I just helped win an important mandate for a €750 million bond deal, because she’d be even more concerned that this is how I spent the night before an important meeting. ” Fuck, I hope she won’t get mad if I order wine at lunch. 60 61 The Handover My move from London to Hong Kong is highly improbable. At the end of my first year in London, they ask me to think about moving to Asia. ” First of all, I can’t fathom moving to Asia; I’ve never even been there. More important, every single person I know in the Hong Kong office hates it; they complain of tyrannical bosses, a rigid hierarchy, and never-ending hundred-hour workweeks.

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